I find it quite impressive how much our children can mirror and reflect our inner states, how often they are even more aware then us of what is happening inside and out.
Have we forgotten how sensitive kids are?
So when my son looks at me and tells me : ‘’C’mon mom, PLAY!’’ or ‘’Where ARE you?’’ Or even ‘’That’s not the way we speak’’, it gives me an opportunity to look deeper than the words or the behavior and to look deeper within myself. What does he actually mean?
Most of the time, I totally see that my attention was caught somewhere else than the actual moment, than the actual activity or interaction we were having.
It’s surprisingly precise.
It’s also incredible how limited kids are with language. How they feel something but are not able to communicate it properly.
What is hidden behind a loud noise or a banged toy?
What is the real message behind whining?
Most of the time, I realize that there is one main call: ‘’Be HERE please’’
By here I don’t mean just physically present, I mean body, heart and soul here, total. Speaking to the adult in question, but also speaking to his own self and attention.…The other day I was sitting down by my son while he was doing a puzzle, just sitting. My mind was kind of going all over the place I must admit. He usually puts the pieces together in a quite focused way, but that time, I could see scatteredness.
It’s an example.
There Is a link between what is happening in the caretaker and the child.
Nothing to feel guilty about! I simply find it totally interesting 🙂
How can we bring back our attention inside ourselves, in our bodies, feeling, listening, being present? And how can we encourage our children to do the same?
Knowing ourselves is not only about knowing where we come from or our personal preferences. It’s also about knowing where our attention is stuck and to what extent we very often get consumed by those links we create with an external world, in our thoughts, projecting us out of the herenow, … nowhere.
I understand this could maybe sound like Chinese, but feel free to share your experiences or thoughts!